It is good to be reminded of that in the midst of this journey I am taking.
It isn't that God has delivered me from certain things. In all honesty, I wouldn't point to things or answered prayers as evidence of God's existence. It's God's comfort. His presence. My knee-jerk reaction to go to Him in times of difficulty.
There is an outstanding video piece by Rob Bell entitled "Rain". He acts out the metaphor of going for a walk with his infant son and it beginning to rain. As he walks back home through the rain, he shields his son from the elements. While this may be uncomfortable for his son, Rob Bell says it is one of his most cherished memories. He was close with his son. He was protecting him. It's something he would never want to give back.
Since having my own children, I understand what Rob Bell was saying. Despite the hurts my kids may experience, I wouldn't give back the times I have held them after a hurt. The times I had the privilege of being their comfort and their rock.
In recent years, I have come to believe that God feels the same way. It is preached in church that believers have to stop going to God as a "genie in the bottle", but I think there is more to it than that when it comes to going to Him in the bad times.
We may be closer to God in the bad times, but that is what He wants. That is what He is there for. I am looking forward to experiencing the good times with my kids, but I know my key role is to step in when there are rough times. That is one of the big reasons I'm here for them.
I see the difficult times I am experiencing now as evidence to God's existence in the midst of my "Big Question". I have always seen a tangible change in myself when I embrace God. When I seek Him out.
I have never watched "The Lord of the Rings" the entire way through, but I have seen enough of the first movie to put together the metaphor that spending time with God is like taking off the ring. I have experienced that in my life. It's like a fog lifts. That is evidence to my "Big Question".
As I struggle right now, I think to Joseph. I would like to look at other areas of the Bible, but I want to understand the story inside and out and I have read through to the first part of Joshua.
I know the story of Joseph and what God is telling us through that story.
Joseph was a favorite. He was beloved by his father, creating jealousy amongst his brothers. They got rid of him, selling him into slavery. Obviously, this was wrong.
There is another element of that story, though. Joseph was quite arrogant. Something I understand at the ripe age of 31. Some of us don't quite master humility or -- at the very least -- what allows us to be defiant and strong gets in the way of humility.
At any rate, it was a two-way problem with Joseph's brothers being mostly in the wrong.
Ultimately, Joseph went through a significant number of experiences that were flat-out not fair. There is really no other way to put it. Sold into slavery and then accused of propositioning the king's wife. Jailed.
This is typically a story told in an uplifting way about how God never leaves us. We envision Joseph whistling a happy tune in prison, just happy to be alive. While listening to this sermon in church, we probably think, "Way to go, Joseph! I would do the same!" But let's get real, here. We would not do the same. I certainly am living proof of not doing the same.
I opened my Bible today scouring the pages for evidence of God punishing my enemies. All I found were words about loving my enemies. Right.
The only anger toward enemies I found was in Pslams -- a prayer from David.
Psalm 143:9-12: Rescue me from my enemies, Lord, for I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. For your name’s sake, Lord, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.
To me, evidence to God's existence and the power of His word is that this comforts me. Seeing these in the Bible comforts me.
I see that David prayed the same prayers I am praying right now and I take solace in the fact that He is here with me. In moments like these, I don't question His existence, I simply revel in it.
I don't know if these moments will continue to build upon one another so that my faith is stronger in times of joy or if I will fade back into a wishy-washy view of God.
The only way to find out is to keep going. For now, though, I will let Him carry me through the rain.
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